I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
