oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
