I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
