You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
