K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
