Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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