Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
