I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
