is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
