Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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