In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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