I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
