a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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