I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
