8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
