If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
