I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
