it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
