East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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