No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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