i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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