What a fucking waste of an outfit
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
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