Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
