i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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