Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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