how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
