I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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