I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
