Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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