I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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