She announced her abortion via fbk
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
