Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize