i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
