My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
