I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
