tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
