its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
