Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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