so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
