oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
