my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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