Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
