Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
