We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
