Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
