the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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