the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
They took my balls.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
