this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
