You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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