I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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