Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
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