im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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