Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize