'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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