maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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