ADVERTISEMENT

• (734): View more from Michigan

  I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u

  Fav 11 7695 1935

  share tweet
  

• (408): View more from California

  I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.

  Fav 8 3653 892

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (201): View more from New Jersey

  i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.

  Fav 29 1565 7110

  share tweet
  

• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?

  Fav 3 3339 1264

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (214): View more from Texas

  She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.

  Fav 7 2610 1156

  share tweet
  

• (419): View more from Ohio

  I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.

  Fav 6 1475 981

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (574): View more from Indiana

  I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor

  Fav 1 1095 1403

  share tweet
  

• (206): View more from Washington

  I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.

  Fav 3 893 2026

  share tweet
  

• (786): View more from Florida

  the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...

  Fav 0 1323 795

  share tweet
  
• 

  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (928): View more from Arizona

  The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.

  Fav 11 815 2142

  share tweet
  

• (312): View more from Illinois

  woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least

  Fav 1 744 574

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (731): View more from Tennessee

  Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.

  Fav 1 306 188

  share tweet
  

• (256): View more from Alabama

  Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.

  Fav 4 384 228

  share tweet
  

• (908): View more from New Jersey

  You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth

  Fav 1 67 15

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?

  Fav 2 35 15

  share tweet
  

Randomize