We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...