Texts From Last Night

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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.

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  (401): I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls. http://tfl.nu/rm2y
  Replies (35) Good night (3445) Bad night (987)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year

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  (614): You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year http://tfl.nu/i8j9
  Replies (85) Good night (3386) Bad night (1562)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.

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  (906): I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon. http://tfl.nu/l4la
  Replies (25) Good night (6850) Bad night (1362)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.

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  (203): I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust. http://tfl.nu/xny1
  Replies (31) Good night (3975) Bad night (741)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.

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  (717): No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon. http://tfl.nu/gt7r
  Replies (43) Good night (933) Bad night (4042)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on

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  (780): She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on http://tfl.nu/l1qo
  Replies (14) Good night (4298) Bad night (731)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???

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  (616): So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo??? http://tfl.nu/k6yj
  Replies (22) Good night (1140) Bad night (5016)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.

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  (409): We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield. http://tfl.nu/bpsu
  Replies (45) Good night (11373) Bad night (2603)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.

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  (860): They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm. http://tfl.nu/gqaa
  Replies (4) Good night (1766) Bad night (800)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY

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  (706): WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY http://tfl.nu/3x6y
  Replies (5) Good night (902) Bad night (417)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?

  (1-507): View more from Minnesota

  Fuck you, my tits are fabulous

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  (507): Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch? (1-507): Fuck you, my tits are fabulous http://tfl.nu/jvov
  Replies (4) Good night (1057) Bad night (284)
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  (916): View more from California

  I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding

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  (916): I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding http://tfl.nu/cejl
  Replies (3) Good night (1023) Bad night (308)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?

  (1-503): View more from Oregon

  Alcohol

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  (503): Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door? (1-503): Alcohol http://tfl.nu/w616
  Replies (3) Good night (622) Bad night (309)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  someone just got arrested on campus...

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  holy fuck look at all that cocaine

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  (908): someone just got arrested on campus... (908): holy fuck look at all that cocaine http://tfl.nu/ymqg
  Replies (0) Good night (800) Bad night (266)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face

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  (315): Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face http://tfl.nu/0m4l
  Replies (3) Good night (576) Bad night (205)

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