If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
