i would punch a child for taco bell
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
be right there i have to get my cape
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
