i just google imaged poop.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
