no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
