Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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